April 18th, 2009

eliphas, napping


This is a little embarrassing, but I'm so frustrated that I need to whine.

I have this secret and highly ambitious goal of being, one day, able to jog one whole kilometre without intervals of walking to catch my breath, regain control of my balance and wait for the pain to go away. I could do it when I was eleven -- before puberty, chocolate and the lack of sports bras made 100 metres long-distance for me.

So I check the internet for advice on how to best get from here to there without keeling over dead or something equally unpleasant. And every one, every single page says, "don't run so fast that you would not be able to carry on a conversation", and "start with running for two minutes, then walking", and "keep your pulse in this-and-that range."

Which makes me go, WTF?

There is literally no jogging speed so slow that I could carry on a conversation doing it. When I was 16, jogging two kilometres took me 35 minutes (walking would have taken 20), and I would not have been able to carry on a conversation for any part of it. (That was in gym class. I got sent home afterwards for coughing my lungs out. Took me days to get my breath back.) These days, to keep jogging at any speed for two minutes, I need a good day, and four weeks of training beforehand. And going by the pulse frequency I get on a crosstrainer on half that effort, it's probably forty to fifty over what is recommended.

Well, one plan says, "start with walking 30 minutes". Yeah, I can do that. I can walk 30 minutes, or 60, or 240, or the whole day, no problem. I just cannot run.

This sucks.